In the latest round of “things on the internet that would give even Freud himself pause” is this TikTok from a wellness influencer who claims that craving gluten means that you probably have daddy issues.

Mariya, an influencer who describes herself as a spiritual teacher, energy alchemist, entrepreneur and podcast host (but of course), specializes in what can only be described as “woo-woo” content. Her work includes videos about solar humans, clairvoyance, ancient gods being aliens and the aforementioned gluten cravings being indicative of daddy issues.

@thisismariyaofficial If You are Craving Baked Goods or Dairy… #craving #cravings #spiritual #spirituality #spiritualtiktok #awareness ? original sound - Mariya

According to Mariya, if you find yourself craving pizza, pasta, breads, croissants — i.e., some of the best foods out there — what you’re actually craving is the “energy of your father.” This doesn’t just apply to people who have bad relationships with their fathers, or perhaps no relationship with their father; even if you have a great relationship with your father, a desire for gluten has a deeper meaning.

“Subconsciously, when you’re reaching out for that piece of baguette, you are craving the nurturing of your father or his energies in your life,” Mariya explains. “If you’re craving dairy, cheeses, milks, you’re craving mother very often.”

@thisismariyaofficial Ancient Gods were Aliens #spiritual #spirituality #spiritualtiktok #awareness #spiritualawakening #aliens ? original sound - Mariya

She allows that there are exceptions to these rules — no way! — but seems to assert that by and large, craving gluten means craving your father, while craving dairy means craving your mother. Who’s going to be the one to tell the nations of Italy and France that they have deep-seated issues with not one, but both of their parents? Put down the baguette and call your père, France.

Many commenters were quick to poke holes in Mariya’s theory, with one writing, “My father has more of a hard pretzels and Diet Pepsi energy,” while another added, “My dads more of a gin & tonic at 10am kind of energy.” Others argued that this couldn’t possibly apply to their fathers because their dads are gluten intolerant, or still on Atkins, forbidden from enjoying carbs and thinking about their own fathers and their masculine energies. Sad.

If you’re looking for a way to unwind after work, why not order a pizza and think about all of the ways your parents have passed down their own unresolved issues to you?

Or you could just enjoy the pizza, I guess. Your choice.